You’re scrolling through social media and suddenly it hits you: a pang of jealousy.
Maybe it was a photo of your best friend on her honeymoon.
Maybe it was your brother’s friend’s business posting yet another successful home renovation.
Maybe it’s a photo of someone you went to high school with who is yet again in some obscure, exotic place on the other side of the planet, looking incredibly happy and peaceful.
No matter what it was that triggered your pang of jealousy, it’s also likely that you felt another (or several) other emotions immediately following the jealousy, like:
Fear: What if I never find someone to marry?
Guilt: I should be happy for him that his business is so successful.
Anger: Why aren’t I the one on the exotic vacation?
Sadness: Everyone else has the life I want to be living.
Any and all of these emotions, including jealousy, are normal and natural to experience as a human being.
Emotions literally mean “energy in motion.”
You do not choose your emotions. They are a natural, spontaneous energy that arises in response to some sort of external or internal trigger. (It is important to note here that the word trigger does not have to be associated with a negative experience. You can also be triggered to feel joy when you discover that your cat has finally gotten the hang of litter box training).
Emotions teach you a plethora of information about yourself. Learning how to identify, understand, and feel your emotions can be a valuable practical and spiritual tool for life.
Jealousy is a natural human emotion that you can utilize to learn more about yourself.
When you are triggered with a pang of jealousy, try the following steps:
Notice the jealousy: How does it feel in your body? It might feel heavy, scary, or overwhelming.
Do not judge the jealousy or yourself: Remind yourself that jealousy is a normal human response and that you can learn more about yourself from feeling it. Instead of judging yourself for feeling it, inquire within it to deepen the connection you have with you.
Discover the message the jealousy is bringing you: Take a moment to consider what the jealousy is showing you about yourself. If you are desiring something that someone else has, it is only because you are currently not experiencing it but you want to be. This is your soul’s way of showing you that what you are seeing is also something your soul desires. Otherwise, you would not feel jealousy, but a different emotion. Using the first example of seeing your best friend on her honeymoon, let’s break down the jealousy and what it may signify on a deeper level (shown in parenthesis):
a. Your desire to get married (love, partnership)
b. You miss the early days of your marriage or the experience you had on your own honeymoon (love, beginnings, closeness, excitement)
c. Your sadness that your best friend might not be able to play as big a role in your life anymore (connectedness, friendship)
d. Your lack of funds to take your own vacation (abundance, freedom, adventure)
e. Your loneliness at feeling left out (closeness, connectedness, community)
As you can see, these are only a small number of possibilities (the possibilities are endless when it comes to the ways humans process) but all of them point to something going on much deeper within, and that is the desire for one or more of the following:
Love
Partnership
New Beginnings (Novelty)
Friendship
Closeness
Connection
Community
Excitement
Abundance
Freedom
Adventure
Once you figure out what desire is lying beneath your jealousy, you can get one step closer to bringing it into your reality. If you don’t know what it is that you truly want, it’s pretty hard to make it happen. Conversely, if you can identify exactly what it is you desire in your life, you can begin to take the necessary steps towards bringing it into your physical reality.
So often I hear from clients that they are not sure what they really want. If you can pay closer attention to your triggers and notice when jealousy arises, then you can quickly identify what is actually most important to you in your life.
4. Release the jealousy: There’s no need to keep the jealousy once you’ve figured out the message it is bringing to you. There is a big difference between feeling an emotion and letting it pass verses acting on the emotion. Once you have identified its purpose, thank the jealousy and let it go.
5. Replace the jealous energy: Whenever you release an energy, it's important to replace it with something of your choosing. It’s best to opt for something higher vibrational. You might consider finding admiration for the person (I wonder how they achieved that)? You might consider gratitude towards the person (Thanks to their photo triggering me, I now know myself on a deeper level). You might consider sending love to the individual (They are important to me and this trigger made me realize that on a deeper level). You can also fill your own self up with an energy (love, gratitude, self-acceptance, courage, wisdom, empowerment). There’s no limit here, so be liberal and generous as you share these vibrations with yourself and others.
You are not a bad person for feeling jealousy, just as you wouldn’t be a bad person for feeling sad when someone you love passes away. Every single emotion you feel has a purpose and, if you allow the space for it, can bring you one step closer to yourself.
Knowing, loving, and supporting yourself on the deepest levels is one surefire way to experience more joy, happiness, peace, and fulfillment in your life. The most important part of this process is to be gentle and non-judgemental with yourself, no matter what emotions arise. The second most important part of this process is choosing a healthy, rather than an unhealthy, reaction to the initial emotion.
When you give yourself permission to feel all of your emotions without judgement, you give yourself the gift of freedom.
You, just like every other human being on this planet, are an incredible, talented, and amazing individual. You have something special and unique to offer the world in your own special way and you also have the right to create the life you want to live. But before you can get to the task of creating your ideal life, you have to know exactly what it is that would make it ideal for you! Using jealousy as a spiritual practice to get closer to your own heart and soul is just one way to accomplish this.
Rather than reject, compare, or allow yourself to negatively react to jealousy, allow it to fuel your self-discovery and self-mastery process. Remember, all of who you are is valid. As much as you can, accept and love yourself for who you are today as you continue on your life journey of who you will become. Feeling bad about your automatic emotional responses only causes additional suffering for yourself (and potentially for others).
I hope you can move forward in noticing jealousy in a different way and in that process you gain a deeper connection to your very own soul.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog and for having the courage to take on the task of self-development. I appreciate you for your strength and commitment.
I also appreciate when you share my blogs with your friends and on social media and I thank you in advance!
Ready to get closer to your own soul? Schedule a Let’s Dig In Soul to Soul Session and explore the deeper reaches of your being while receiving the wonderful healing energy of Reiki. Reiki helps you release stuck and heavy emotions and create the space for more love, more peace, and more fulfillment in your life.
Ready to take your life to the next level? Read more about my signature program, Four Weeks to Freedom. You’ll take a journey through your chakra system to clear, activate, and align each of your seven chakras, bringing you closer to your own self and soul and living out your soul’s journey and truth.
Want to learn Reiki? It’s an incredible healing modality that can be used for self-healing and healing others. Read more about my Reiki trainings here.
Not sure what you want or need? No worries. Book a free consultation call today to speak with me about all of my offerings and which would be the best for you at this time.
No matter where life takes you, I wish you the most peaceful, fulfilling, and authentic life possible.
~ Erica
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Hi, I’m Erica
I’m so happy you found your way here!
I look for rainbows in clouds and heart-shaped rocks on the ground, but more than anything I spend my time trying to make your life a little more peaceful, a little more fulfilling, and a little more authentic.
I want you to know that it’s okay to be you, just how you are. I want you to know that the more you accept and love yourself, the easier those things will come to you from the outside world. I know it isn’t easy, but it sure is worth it. Take a look around at my other blog posts and videos and sign up for my email list down below to stay on top of new courses and offerings.
I wish you the very best life imaginable!
~ Erica