Shame, the lowest vibrational energy that exists, feels really, really heavy.
Shame feels like someone has dropped a giant weight on your body and the heaviness can make you feel stuck, completely weighed down, and oftentimes, hopeless.
Shame can make you feel as if nothing matters in life, nothing ever will, and that there’s no point of trying.
It is perhaps the most uncomfortable feeling of all, and because it is so dense and heavy, it also seems nearly impossible to escape.
I invite you to look at shame in a different way, one that will help you move through this heavy emotion and come out on the other side of it.
But first, let’s look at some of the common places shame comes from:
Shame can arise from something you have done, whether that is in your past or present reality.
Shame can come from something someone else has done to you, particularly anything that affects your confidence or self-worth.
Shame can come from being a member of a family, group, organization, culture, nation, or institution.
Shame can come from something someone close to you has done, for example, a partner, parent, sibling, child, close friend, etc.
Shame can come from a false conscious or subconscious belief about yourself or life.
The emotion of shame tends to arrive on its own and often at inopportune times. It is a commonly triggered emotion, and one that is often pushed down because of how uncomfortable it is to be felt.
However, pushing shame down only allows it to grow in greater intensity. And while you might find temporary relief, shame will make its way back to the surface eventually, and often, much more intensely.
Research on emotional suppression has shown that when emotions are pushed aside, they get stronger. So rather than ignoring, denying, suppressing, avoiding, and running from shame, work through this heavy vibration and make your way to the other side of it.
Here’s how:
Admit you feel shame. This might seem like a no brainer, but it is impossible to heal from an emotion without properly labeling it. If you feel shame, the first step is to actually admit that you are feeling it.
Give yourself a moment to actually feel the shame rise and fall. Emotions are incredibly amazing - they are literally energy in motion - and they just need to move through you, not hang out with you all day long. Give emotions some time to rise and fall. Emotions only have a ninety second lifespan (seriously!) so this is not going to take as long as you think it will.
Note, however, that emotions that have been suppressed repeatedly over time will take longer than ninety seconds to make their way out. That is simply because they’ve been building up compound interest inside your body and it is going to take a little bit of time before the account is cleared. Give yourself that space and grant yourself some grace in the process. Keep in mind that you won’t be stuck there forever, but you do have to feel it to heal it.
3. Tune into what the shame is teaching you about yourself. This is the most valuable part of the experience of any emotion - uncovering what the emotion is teaching you about yourself. For example, if you feel shame for a behavior you exhibited with your partner, shame might be teaching you how important the relationship is to you and how you need to become more conscious of your own behavior and how you treat others. Every emotion has a message to share with you. Tune into your body and heart and listen to the messages.
4. Allow space for forgiveness. Forgiveness is an incredibly powerful, often overlooked tool in life. Granting yourself or another forgiveness for past actions energetically frees you and them. Forgiveness is for you, first. So no matter how terrible the action(s) of another, forgiving them means granting your own self inner peace.
You also deserve your own forgiveness. I often find most people are much harder on themselves than they would ever be on another. You deserve the same level of forgiveness you’d grant to a small child that did something wrong when they didn’t know any better. Only you can truly be the judge of your own behavior. If you did not know any better, then how can you hold yourself accountable? And if you did know better and you chose to make a different choice, then how can you forgive yourself anyway? Holding resentment against yourself is like fighting a losing battle for the rest of your life. No good will ever come from it and you’ll always feel at war on the inside.
5. Find gratitude in the experience. Life is full of experiences, some more meaningful than others. If you can learn to live from a space of gratitude for all of the experiences you have in life, you will spend much of your life feeling pretty darn good - even if you first have to take a moment to deal with the heaviness. How can you find gratitude for this experience and this shame? What has it taught you about yourself that you might not have already known? How has it helped you deepen your relationship with yourself or others? Gratitude can be found everywhere. It is only a matter of perspective.
6. Love yourself. This is the only actual thing you’ll ever truly need to do in your life and all of the tools, resources, writings, yoga classes, programs, retreats, and anything else you can think of are just ways to bring you back to this space. Loving yourself fully means loving yourself unconditionally - which means even when you do something not so great, feel not so great, show up not so great, give up on yourself for the 18th time today, and especially when you don’t feel like loving yourself. On those days, you need to do it a little bit more. Loving yourself is the cure for all the wounds you could ever have. If you do nothing else in life, just love yourself.
Shame might not feel so great, but it can be the door to liberation from heavy energies and a deeper connection with your own beautiful soul. So the next time you feel this weight begin to bear down on you, call on this process for relieving yourself from shame and allowing yourself to move forward - feeling lighter, more peaceful, and more deeply connected to you.
You deserve to have a life filled with peace, with love, and with all of the things you so deeply desire. You deserve to always be free, to live your life to the fullest, and to make the most of each day and every moment. Your existence is not accidental; you belong here. You and your life matters. Thank you for being here.
What you can do now:
Check out this YouTube video for a deeper discussion on the energy of shame and how to release it here.
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Hi, I’m Erica
As a Yoga Instructor, Reiki Master, and Intuitive, I’ve come to experience the world in a very different way. I am a lover of all things energy! I believe, more than anything, that energy affects everything. I’m here to help you shift your energy and change your life!