Change is an inevitable part of life. It is the one thing you can absolutely guarantee will happen. People will come and go, jobs will change, living situations will shift, and if you’re here for a while your hair will fall out or turn gray, your skin will wrinkle and your body will age. Change will occur with or without your active participation and permission.
It is interesting, however, when you really want change and yet you have a hard time actually following through with it.
Here are five reasons why change is hard, even when you want it:
You’re oddly comfortable in what you know, even if it doesn’t actually feel good
Human beings are creatures of habit. Once you’ve settled into a way of living, it takes a fair amount of energy to shift from that space, even if that space doesn’t actually feel good! The thing is, it is what you already know. And so, there’s a level of comfort of being in a space you already know. There’s nothing new to learn, you are used to it, and you’ve grown so used to it that it is actually oddly comfortable, even though when you really dig into it you know that you’re not actually comfortable and you’re not actually happy being in this space.
There is a part of you that doesn’t want to leave behind what you already know. It is familiar to you, and you’re used to it.
Understand this is an energy that exists, but don’t give it enough power to keep you from changing.
2. You’re afraid of what you’ll lose by changing.
Change comes with loss; it is a natural part of the process. Depending on how large a change will depend on how large the loss, but it wouldn’t be change without something shifting.
But here is the thing: for everything you lose, you will in turn gain something else. If you lose fear, you’ll gain confidence and strength. If you lose a job, you’ll gain freedom of time and the choice to figure out what comes next for you. If you lose a negative thought, you create the space to gain a positive one.
You also create the space to gain so much more in your life for everything that you lose. One of the hardest parts of the process of change is that you often cannot see the gain before it actually arrives. This is where faith comes in! If you have faith that what comes next is better than what was before, you make the whole process of change easier on yourself. Faith is a powerful ally in change.
A 1590’s definition of the word change states, “something substituted for something else.” Remember, everything won’t just be gone, you’ll be filling your space back up with what it is you truly want and are authentically aligned with.
3. You’re afraid the grass won’t be greener.
You know that with change comes differences in how you experience your life and you’re afraid that those differences won’t actually be better or more enjoyable. An early yoga teacher of mine would often remind us, “The grass is green wherever you water it.”
And it is. It’s your grass, afterall. You are simply changing the way you engage with the grass. With the changes you are making in your life, you can choose to nurture and grow the greenest damn grass anyone has ever seen. Remember why you set out on creating change to begin with: your grass wasn’t green. In fact, it might not have been growing at all.
4. You’re afraid of who you’ll become as a result of the change.
This one comes up in sessions so frequently I think that every single soul battles with it at least once in their lifetime. There are so many fears around who you’ll be - or not be - as a result of changing.
A lot of it stems from the ego and it is totally understandable. Your ego really loves being center stage and thinks it is just the bee’s knees. But, your heart and soul really belong on that center stage, with the ego standing beside you, not completely blocking your view. And that is what an unruly ego does. It blocks your view.
Your heart and soul have an innate guidance system (aka your intuition) that help direct your path in life. It is perhaps one of the most difficult things to tune into and trust fully and actually follow, but I can say without hesitation that I have yet to find an intuition to steer anyone in the wrong direction.
Why? Because it is you. It is the version of you that sits beyond the noise, beyond the facade, beyond the illusion. It is the beautiful you that knows all and loves all. (If you’re starting to think that version can’t possibly exist within you, I promise you it is in there, and maybe you just haven’t found it yet).
And so when you change and strip away those layers of goop piled on from life and other people and society and so forth, you are left with just you. And this part scares people, a lot. Or maybe it just scares your ego. ;)
But I recommend you look at it in a different way. Without your chaos, life won’t be boring, it’ll be a lot more enjoyable. Without your fears, you won’t be so bold you’re dangerous. You’ll just be yourself. Without your sadness, you won’t be manic, you’ll just be happy, being you.
Without the things you are shifting away from, you will be you. This is not meant to be scary; it is natural. You’re a pretty amazing person, even if you haven’t figured that out just yet. And you don’t need to cling to all the stuff that isn’t really comfortable just to stay in uncomfortable comfort.
5. You’re afraid it is going to be too much work.
Granted, changing is not usually a walk in the park. It takes a lot of courage and strength to identify that something isn’t working for you and that you want it to change. It takes even more courage and strength to actually go through the process of changing. However, it does not have to happen all in one day.
Some changes will need to be swift, while others can take time to settle into. But no matter what, break it all down into easy, manageable steps. Choose one thing to work on each day, tackle it head on, and then tomorrow do the same thing. It is the process of taking these small daily steps each day that lead up to the big changes in time. It also allows you to ease into the new spaces. By all means, sometimes we have to jump off cliffs, but usually a cliff jumping follows a period of time where gradual changes were being made which brought you up the mountain to said cliff.
A relatable example from my own life:
When I changed my diet I began with just removing one ingredient: high fructose corn syrup. Then, I began adding in more fruits and vegetables. Later, I decided to switch to as much organic as possible. As time went on, I kept tweaking my diet and eventually landed where I am today - no caffeine, mostly organic, totally gluten free, mostly plants, and just a little seafood, animals, and processed stuff.
But if I had tried to make the switch from my Entenmann's raspberry cake for breakfast (yes, I really did that) to the green smoothie with hemp powder and spinach that I have these days, I would have lasted about two sips. And then I would have driven to Wawa and bought my cake.
Ease into your big changes just like I eased into my green breakfast smoothie.
This doesn't mean give yourself permission to not do anything or have an “I’ll get to it later” attitude, but it does mean push yourself along, even when you don’t want to and even when you’re scared and even when your ego is shouting all the things that it does not want to happen when you change.
Because change is what brings you closer to you. And the closer you are to you, the better your experience of life.
My hope for you is that when you lay your head down to sleep at night, you have lived a day of life that you are proud of and that brought you the fulfillment and experience you desire. I hope you give yourself permission to change all the things that you don’t feel truly align with you and you do so unapologetically. I hope you find what it is you are looking for out of life and I hope you have the courage to change whatever needs to change to make it happen.
I hope you know how valuable you are, how precious you are, and how incredible it is that you are here, living, breathing, loving, and existing on this great big planet we call home. I hope you have the strength and courage to set your heart free, live from your soul’s truth, and know that you are worth every single thing that you desire.
Thank you for reading. I appreciate it when you share my blogs with your friends and on social media!
For a more animated and deeper approach to this topic, check out my YouTube video on it here.
I love to help people come home to themselves. My signature program, Four Weeks to Freedom, helps you create the massive change you want in your life. Read more about it here.
Book a single session with me here.
Connect with me!
You’ll find information and inspiration here:
You’ll find yin yoga, meditations, and other content here:
Hi, I’m Erica
As a Yoga Instructor, Reiki Master, and Intuitive, I’ve come to experience the world in a very different way. I am a lover of all things energy! I believe, more than anything, that energy affects everything. I’m here to help you shift your energy and change your life!